A much needed break :)

We just got back from a much needed vacation with my husband.  This trip was unbelievable in so many ways!  We decided for our 15 year wedding anniversary we would go away and forget about it all.  I know it sounds crazy being parents, business owners, workers and volunteers to be able to escape reality but we did.  My father actually prohibited us from calling and checking on the kids because he said that if anything happened he would get ahold of us :) I love that he did that because not only did he get great quality time with my boys but I really did not worry for a second.  I got lost in the peacefulness of this trip, almost dreaming as if I could do this everyday.  I remember a time where the worries of life were so small.  I never thought about the future much when I was younger, so I never really embraced the moments in the present.  This trip among many others that we have gone in the last couple of years are all about relishing those moments.  We said many times how we wish everyone could feel the way we did at that single second.  To have that alone time as a couple, to have no worries, and to honestly escape even for the moment.

Of course the kids are my sole meaning in life but if I could just pick them up and go, leave it all, wow what a happy girl I would be.  My husband keeps me pretty grounded when it comes to  not just picking up and running, which I know is me talking crazy.  Trust me, I am all about living in the moment but at the end of the day my kids need me to feel security and not just foot loose and fancy free.  I grew up in a very unstable environment and I promised my adult self that I would never let my kids feel the ways I did as a child.  It would always drive me crazy when you would hear about someones childhood and then they grew into parents and did the same thing to their children!! Not me, that was my number one goal :)  If it was just my husband and I we probably would have moved a million times by now.  Not let anything tie us down to one place and just go with the flow.  However my children are the one thing that has kept me grounded. Even though some of my wild dreams may never come true in my lifetime, my kids are worth it and are the whole reason my world exist.  They are the reason I work so hard, the reason I fight so hard and the main reason I love so hard :)

It does sound cliche to say we find our own happiness but in all honesty we do.  For the last 2 years I have found more happiness than I have in my lifetime, and that is the honest truth.  I wish In the past I had embraced life the way I do now, that is my only regret.  I have always treated others the way that I would want them to treat me the only difference now is I don't have time for those that don't make time for me.  I do believe in making sure you surround yourself with good and happy people because happiness is contagious.  Also as we find happiness along the way it is important that it is not selfish happiness, there is more to my story than just myself.

Moving forward after the last 2 years I have decided to take a step away from my blog.  I am not a professional blogger and really it was just a way for me to clear my head.  I by no means am a writer and I actually laugh at my writing...or lack of writing skills.  Things with me have been a little boring lately, which I LOVE!!!  I don't want to write about my aches, pains, or depression that has come along with being diagnosed.  I like the good that has come out of this all, but at the same time I don't want to be shoving in peoples faces either.  I am going to leave this with a final plea :) . Please do whatever you can to be happy, but not at others expenses.  Make every second count and never take life for granted.  You know who the important people are in your life so tell them often.  Don't do anything you will regret and always dance like no one is watching because if they love you it does not matter what you do!  To all my cancer friends/fighters I have met along the way, keep fighting and NEVER give up!!! I pray for you all often and am so happy we have crossed paths in one way or another.  Love to all and if anything exciting happens I will blog again but until then live your life to the fullest XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!