However It's hard for me to write that actually. To talk about going into a new year is kinda weird for me because I really did not know where I would be. When I heard I had Stage 4 cancer I had set goals of what I wanted to accomplish and one of them was to make it to 2017 because after all it was Stage 4 cancer and odds were against me..... I wonder why I was so bent on making it to 2017, why not 2040??? but for some reason 2017 was what was stuck in my head. I wanted to see my daughter graduate college. I wanted to celebrate my 15 year wedding anniversary. I wanted to see that turning point where my little boys were turning into young men. I wanted to get some stuff around my house situated. I wanted to get some affairs in order. I wanted to do some things that I had only dreamed of doing. I could go on and on but those are the ones that were most important.
2016 started a little scary for me because we were trying to find out if my cancer reoccurred. That was wiped away shortly after the first of the year started with reassurance that I had No Evidence of Disease.Yay!! Yay!! and Yay!!!
Here are my highlights of 2016 :) which may or may not include TMI ;)
1) Some awesome trips, record breaking times, may or may not to much alcohol consumed and the rest my credit card will tell you all about it :)
2) I feel like I finally got some relief when it came to my belly/booty! I feel a little more control over what I can eat/digest since my surgery and then of course the most important part.... I am almost a regular pooper ;) HUGE, HUGE deal in my eyes!!
3) Quality time with the ones I love and the ones that love me. It's so nice to have such amazing people in my life. This is priceless!!!
There were some things that I could have skipped in 2016 though. One was I had to figure out to deal with my emotions of what happened to me the year before up to the present day. From what I have been told, I did not do very good with completely acknowledging what I had gone through, physically and emotionally. I hit a bottom right before my last appointment, a very ugly bottom. Comes to find out that PTSD is completely normal with any type of traumatic event in our lives. Once I was able to realize that it was ok to feel this way, I was able to control my emotions much better. I wish this was as easy as I thought it would be but it is a challenge that I am working through. The real test will be my next appointment in May but I think the first step is admitting the problem right ? ;)
So now going into 2017, the year that seemed so far away when I got diagnosed. This is going to be a EPIC year! I get to spend my 15 year wedding anniversary with my soul mate <3 I hope that everyone in their lifetime gets to experience this kind of love at least one time:) I will get to see my daughter graduate from College, she amazes me all the time. My boys are surprising me everyday with their sweet hearts and soft ways. The young men they are growing into sure makes mamma proud <3 We are also going on a friend cruise with some of my dearest friends and their families to Alaska, (pray for the employees on the ship) !!! Tons more quality time, memories to make and living life to the fullest. I will continue to treat everyone the way that I want to be treated. I now realize I cannot change people that don't want to change themselves, that just took how many years ;) I refuse to invest in those that do not want to do the same with me or my family. Most importantly I plan on keeping NED around this year. This is by far most important because I am loving my life and don't have time for anything toxic!! Bring on 2017.
