This last week has me really thinking about friendships in general. So many people I know have had some hard decisions to make this week when it comes to their personal friendships. Whether it is questioning who their friends really are, or if they did something wrong to tarnish a friendship along the way. It has made me really ponder about what it means to me to be friends with someone and what it means to me to have someone have me as their friend. When I was younger I worried so much on who likes me and how many friends I had..... It is drilled in our heads at a early age to be someone that people like and the more friends we have the happier we will be? As an adult I knew that having quality friendships would outweigh all others and that is what I wanted in my life. I have never been shy about showing my friends how much I love them or reminding them how lucky I am to have them in my life but since my diagnosis I have made sure they know this every chance I get.
I have been best friends to the same girl since I was 13! We have not missed a beat in life and have honestly, in every sense, held each others hands through some of the best and worse times life has given us. She has been in the delivery room when I was delivering my 9 pounder, and actually almost got kicked out because she couldn't stop crying :) She held my hand as I had to go say till we meet again to my grandma who was my other best friend. She was my maid of honor for both of my marriages.... She kept my crap together when I couldn't and I put her in line when I had to ;) It doesn't matter that we have not lived within 4 hours of each other in over 20 years either. She is my Thelma! What do they say now, ride or die friend lol! When she found out about my diagnosis she became very depressed, she said we were suppose to out live our husbands together and give everyone hell along the way. I know how lucky I am to have her and I would say she knows how lucky she is to have me too ;)
I have so many dear friends in my life that would do anything for me, and vice versa. Some I have had forever, some I have met along the way and others that I feel like have been placed in my life for a reason. There are those ones that would just call or text to ask me how I am doing even though they have a pile of life on their plates full as full could be. The friends that would include me in their plans with some of their friends so that I could be included in their festivities:) The friends that would make meals, come over with little goodies or just send some flowers to tell me they love me. I also have so many that I would call a friend but maybe we don't see each other as often or speak to each other that often but when we do it is like no time has passed at all. I have met some really great friends in just the pass couple of years that I know will be around for a lifetime and those are just as special as some of my oldest friendships:) I feel like true friendships are just like family to me :)
This week there have been some different situations that I have seen made me stop and think what exactly friendship is all about. Believe me NO one is perfect and I have been guilty of some of these things in my past but we learn as we go. This is just my opinion so do with it what you want lol! Do not wait until someone is gone to express how you feel about them. If you have the opportunity in the present make sure they know because paying someone respect once they are gone does not matter much if you could have made amends in the present :( That's why I sound like a broken record when I say tomorrow is never promised.... If someone you considered to be a good friend has done something that has hurt you, please talk to them about it. Nothing good comes out of just shutting them out of your life or not at least giving them the opportunity to explain their actions. Remember that this is someone you considered a good friend forever, do not waste any time on ill feelings without at least telling them how you feel. Also, friends/family should be good listeners. Listening means just that, if someone confides in you, do not tell anyone those things. It is between you and them! Please do not be one a one sided friend. Friendships should go both ways! The very last thing I think is soooo important is do not talk to someone else about how you feel, so don't talk behind someones back! We are grown ass adults, if you have a problem or concern, go directly to that person.... as long as it is something that has to do with you and your friend directly. Again, maturity goes a long way because you do not want any regrets in life.
Watching all these different scenario's this week has really made me appreciate all my dear friends in my life. I have said before that I will not have drama in my life, because it is energy spent on negativity instead of energy spent on living. Life is too short! So I will exit from those situations quicker then they happen :) I would choose having my dear friends around any day and I am so excited to have some new friends in my life that I already feel like I have known for years. That's what friendship means to me, new and old, its about good people in your life that you care about and that generally care about you. Don't wait for tomorrow to value what you have today, that is one thing cancer has taught me tenfold. What does friendship mean to you?
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