Before I got sick?

This week has been a little all over the place.  I have been very busy with everything that comes along with being a mom and wife but I am not at all complaining :)  I have been very tired though and I notice myself obsessing a bit with my eating, and little aches/pains.  I thought that the busier I was the more I would just ignore those things but when I lay my head down at night, the mind doesn't shut off that easy.  The one thing that I do notice myself saying in conversation or when talking to my friends or family is, "Before I got sick......" However tonight I am sitting here thinking about that time when I did not know I had cancer yet.  I did not have ANY symptoms at all, then all of the sudden BOOM! I always thought that if something was going to happen to me health wise that I would know because I would get sick or have some type of symptoms.  That brings me back to thinking why do I say before I got sick when I was never sick, or at least I never felt a single bit of being sick.  Fast forward 8 months since my surgery, I can tell you that I definitely have my moments where I feel sick now.  Of course I was not naive to think that I would not feel different after this huge surgery hence the name, "My New Normal".   I know that I am extremely lucky to not have had so many of the side effects that I read from the others that have had this surgery.  I do know though that I would love, I mean absolutely love to eat normal!  I never thought in all my 42 years of my life that I would say I would love to just sit down and eat all my favorite foods and eat and eat and eat.  Being someone that has struggled with weight my whole life I always knew that my problem was food and now I dream of being able to eat the same way I did before.  How ironic is that.

I have been reading a lot of different ways people treat cancer holistically with diet and supplements. These cancer survivors really believe in these alternative treatments and it sounds so incredible to hear them talk about how they were cured.  As much as I really want to believe that you can be cured from cancer with just your diet I do have that side of me that wonders why more people don't do these same treatments if it truly does cure.  There are patients that swear by drinking gallons of carrot juice a day, eating a complete plant based diet and taking a million different natural supplements.  Part of me would love to try these different alternative treatments but the other part of me is scared to death of the unknown that these treatments may have on our bodies.  First of all I can't even eat vegetables at all with my "special" diet they have me on but second of all I am terrified of anything else upsetting my belly at this point I don't even want to try it unless I know I will be OK.  I know this completely goes against my new way of living for today but when it comes to your gut, I feel like it rules your whole body.  Maybe someday :)

Well for now I will keep doing my "New Normal" and hopefully in time it will improve along with all my little aches and pains. My complaints are so minimal compared to others, I do know how extremely lucky I am :) So until then I am going to keep moving forward with my busy life that I love.  I am going to stop saying the, "Before I got sick", phrase though so if anyone hears me say that I give you full permission to remind me that I wasn't sick :)