I HAVE WHAT?

As I came out of my out-patient procedure, Eric explained that the doc saw some mucus on my ovary. He said it could be nothing but he took it and will be sending it to pathology.  My doctor came in and showed me the pictures and it was just gross looking stuff, no masses just jelly substance hanging around.  I went home that day and didn't really think twice about what the doctor said until he called me 4 days later and told me that he wanted me to get a CT scan.  He told me the possiblities of what it could be and one of them was Pseudomyxoma Peritonei, but when I asked him to repeat he said to wait because he didn't want me to start looking online.  He knows me to well......   Being that I am a very impatient, Type A personality, I had to get my CT scan right then even if it was 8pm.  The doctor called me around 10:30 with the results and explained that there does not look like any masses but my appendix was large with a cyst on it that looked like it could be the cause for the mucus.  Although the CT scan did not show much fluid/mucus, it did show some so he was going to have me do blood test and get a second opinion.  In the mean time I was online trying to find out anything that I could about this disease.  It is a very weird one, considering that sometimes it shows up as benign, and only 1 and a million people suffer from this.  I kept thinking that it could be something else and not to jump into thinking the worse but in the back of my head I knew that is what my diagnosis was.  Thats when the fog started for me, I couldn't focus, the world stopped spinning and I cannot even tell you how many tears I shed.  December 12th was the day my doctor got the results back from Mayo clinic that confirmed my worse fears, Appendix Cancer with Pseudomyxoma Peritonei  I wrote in a journal that day for the first time ever:

"I never thought something like this would happen to me so shock is an understatement!  It was hard to tell everyone so I sent a text and Davinna said she would take care of keeping everyone up to date. How do you tell people the news, I can hardly tell myself...."

 I told some of them to look it up online and others I told not to.  There is not a great deal of studies out there since it is so rare but some of the information that is online is all gloom and doom.

Here is the basic explanation of my cancer :

Pseudomyxoma peritonei (PMP) usually begins as a slow-growing tumour in the appendix, called a Low-Grade Mucinous Appendiceal Neoplasm (LAMN). Over time, the tumour produces a jelly-like substance called mucin. This can cause the appendix to swell up like a balloon. The tumour can then break through the wall of the appendix and spread tumour cells into the lining of the tummy (the peritoneum).

The tumour cells and mucin build up in the lining of the tummy, putting pressure on the bowel and causing symptoms. It can be many years before symptoms become obvious. Unlike other cancers, PMP rarely spreads via the lymphatic system or the bloodstream. It usually remains inside the tummy, spreading along its internal surfaces.    

It was only a few weeks until Christmas (which is my favorite time of year) and it is very important for me to pull it together for my family.  I can't be sick, I have stuff to do!!!!  Nicole handled it like the tough lady that she is, and I wouldn't expect any less. Eric would tell me to get all my tears out and I would take complete advantage of that but then when the boys were around, I put on my best face! 

There was a reason I had that outpatient surgery... Everything happens for a reason